You Arent 'Swimming' In Debt You're Drowning In It
by NinjutsuRedPanda
Summary: Chaos is being stirred up as our favorite ninjas are sold off to the whirling world of reality televsion to pay off a major debt. Problem is. They don't even know about it. Even worse hormones are thrown into the mix R&R NejiTen and more


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Misashi Kishimoto-sensei does. Trust me; if I owned Naruto…it just wouldn't be the same. In fact, it would no longer be a story with Naruto as the main character. It would be a story all about me. That would happen if I actually did own Naruto. So be thankful that I don't in fact own anything to do with Naruto.

Ninja Panda- Allrighty then…Everybody…I am the author and you opening story announcer. Along with me is my co-anchor….Chouji Akimichi. Give him a round of a plause; ladies, kids, gentlemen, little midgets, and whatever.

Chouji- Uh…..hi?

Ninja Panda- Thus, to insure that my cute little co-anchor does not leave me or this story…I have brought with me heavy rope that Superman can't even break, many heavy chains and locks, and of course a Choujified Cage if you will. And to make him more at home…I bought him six packs of sour cream and onion Pringles! So while I'm making Chouji a permanent prisoner…..by tying him up and what not…let the story begin to be told. Oh and here is the list of couples that will be in this lovely fan fiction: Neji/TenTen, Kiba/Hinata, Ino/Shikamaru, Shino/Temari, Lee/Sakura/Naruto, Sasuke/Sakura ((maybe…that all depends if I want to have Sakura pairings in this.)) Asuma/Kurenai, Kakashi/Anko

A/N: I mention the five Kages….I sorta made up the other three Kages…cause….I don't know what they are like…so just work with me here. ((That means the Kages who aren't Gaara or Tsunade)) By made up…I meant their personalities not the characters themselves. Since the Kages were mentioned a few times.

--- Chapter One: Trying Not To Drown In Debt---

Four of the five most recent Kages, or leaders of the hidden villages, sat in a circle on the wooden floor of a rather clean dojo. In the middle of the human circle a stash of money was placed on the wood floor before them.

The Mizukage, or the leader of the Hidden Mist village, looked carefully at the cards he held in his hand. He bit his lip and pulled two cards from his calloused hand and laid them gently on the ground before him. "Two fours." He said gruffly.

The Tsuchikage, or the leader of the Hidden Rock village, scrunched up his nose at the Mizukage. "Bullshit…" He watched as the other disgruntled Kage swept up pile of collected cards and began to organize them in his hand.

The leader of the Hidden Cloud village, known as the Raikage, watched as the Tsuchikage put down his three cards. The Raikage cleared his throat and turned to gaze at the only woman Kage in the whole circle. "So…Hokage, Tsunade" He addressed the blond who looked up from her cards as her name was called. "Where, may I ask is the new Kazekage? Not one to enjoy a nice game of cards?" He questioned raising a thin brow.

Tsunade grunted and gazed up from her cards. "Eh?" She replied then blinked. "Oh" She straightened up and gave one swift shrug in reply. "Gaara? Gaara No Sabaku of the Hidden Sand?" She grunted. "If I didn't know the runt better I'd say he was wallowing in his own angst and hate" He sighed and slammed down her cards. "Four Jacks."

"Bullshit…" Mizukage said with no enthusiasm. He snickered as the fifty year old woman pulled the card pile into her hand. "You bullshit every move, even when you have the cards."

The Tsuchikage let a small smile grace his somewhat wrinkled features. "Yes well that boy is wallowing in hate you my dear are wallowing in alcohol and debt…"

"Are not" Tsunade argued with a grunt. She moved her hand about groping for a large sake bottle to her side. "I'm only 'drifting' in alcohol and 'swimming' in debt" She poured the last drops of the sake and tossed the large bottle in the trash. She gulped down her sake with one drink and settled her glass back down. "No worries…."

"No worries? Oh that is quite the contraire." The Raikage argued. "Talking of debt. I have been meaning to tell you that you are drowning in it. Drowning almost seems to be an understatement when it comes to how much in debt you really are." The man sighed and shook his head. "Really…it's going to be extremely hard to get yourself out of it…." He shrugged. "You are going to loose your village to another somebody if you don't think of how to pay off everything you owe…." He nodded and continued. "Trust me. We honestly, don't want to be one Kage short"

---- Several Hours Later Around 12:00 am----

A very heavily wasted Tsunade stumbled about in the pitch darkness slowly toward the Hokage Main Building. She blinked and before she could stop herself and ran face first into the closed heavy locked doors of the building. She toppled over and rubbed her head with a thin hand. "Ow…" She muttered to herself and gave a small crooked smile as she tried to sit up. "Hey Jesus…guess what? I made it!" She muttered the almost incoherent sentence before she fell back onto the ground completely passed out.

--- Around 7:00 AM Outside The Hokage Main Building---

"Tsunade-Hime? Tsunade-Hime?" A soft feminine voice called softly into the passed out woman's ear.

The eyes of Tsunade began to slowly flutter open. She blinked a few moments trying to clear the current double image of a young black haired woman floating above her head calling her name softly. Tsunade gasped. This woman or women Tsunade was too busy having a major hangover to actually care to try and tell the difference, must be hovering over her because she thought about Tsunade being lesbian. "Ugh I'm not LESBIAN!" She yelped and slapped the woman's face. "Get off me. Damnit"

The woman shrieked and stumbled back. "I…I wasn't on top of you. Honestly, Tsunade-Hime I would never think of calling you a lesbian" The young woman cowered timidly and gently cupped the now red cheek.

Tsunade blinked. She grunted and sat up. "Ugh" Tsunade muttered a bit queasy. Tsunade turned her head to see the identity of the woman. "OH…" Tsunade gasped. "I'm terribly sorry Shizune…I didn't know it was you. What happened?"

Shizune bit her lip. "You slapped me" She answered.

"That's not what I meant. I know I slapped you. I said I was sorry. Now tell me why you were hovering over my head."

Shizune blinked. "Oh…" He played with a loose strand of short black hair. "Right" She gave a shy smile. "Well…I was coming to work here as always. And well you were passed out…so I tried to wake you….The other jounins were kind of busy laughing to help." Shizune lowered her voice. "All but Genma-kun he tried to help as long as he could…before he needed to go off on another mission." A soft blush stained the young woman's face.

"Don't get all mushy on me Shizune-Chan…I don't have the time…." Tsunade stumbled a bit as she stood up and tried to get her balance. Tsunade began to rub the dust and rubble off her. "Shizune-Chan….we have somewhat of a major problem. Debt. Any ideas how to get out of it?" She turned and asked her assistant with a slight frown etched on her facial features.

Shizune sighed happily. "Genma-kun is really sweat you know? Oh guess what Tsuande-Hime? He even asked me if I wouldn't mind eating dinner with him tonight and then drive around to look at some of those large houses just to be jealous of the rich…together" Shizune was too busy gushing to get Tsunade's question. "And then…we plan to watch that new reality show…"

"I told you to not snap into a romantic trance on me" Tsunade snapped at the young black hair Shizune. Tsunade blinked. "Wait…that's it. Shizune, dear, you may very well be a genius. Call the rookies' senseis. I got a swell plan to get me out of this awful debt. Oh and call Mister Mizuki ask him if he'd like to give his isolated mansion to us for a week of entertainment…oh…and tell him all he has to pay is half my debt….and we promise to protect him with our ninjas forever" Tsunade licked her lips in joy as an idea struck her. "Oh and find the number for reality TV….tell them we have a swell new idea…. Twelve teenagers who happen to be ninjas all trapped in one mansion stranded far away from any city with only each other for company. Hormones and agitation are now their enemies…." Tsunade began to laugh evilly as she thought out her plan.

"I'm on it Tsunade-Hime!" Shizune shouted and began her daily task of setting up the only way out of all the Hokage's major debt.

---- In Tsunade's Office---

"Well?" Tsunade asked the four Jounins sat around her desk. A cheshire grin attached to her face as she pressed the four to answer.

A man clad in green with a bowl cut rubbed his chin. "Well if it means my team will blossom in their youth…right in front of the whole nation….on live television" The man pondered aloud. "Then I am totally okay dokay with it. I, MAITO GAI, ALLOW MY PUPILS TO SHOW THIS WORLD HOW THEY BLOSSOM IN YOUTH THROUGH THE USE OF REALITY TELEVISON!" ((You saw it coming didn't you?)) The man shouted at the top of his lungs. Ending his short scream session with a smile that could only compete with the brightness of the sun, a odd wink, and a very aggressive thumbs up.

Tsunade cleared her throat. "Very touching Maito. Now I beg you. Please stop smiling and posing. Just sit down."

"Right…Of course" Gai replied with one last small smile that gave off a quick ping. He nodded and situated himself calmly back in his seat. He turned to the sensei with silver hair. "OY! Kakashi, don't you dare run out on this one. Don't be afraid to accept!" Gai challenged his long time rival.

Kakashi turned to face the bold man with one lazy eye. "Sorry did you say something?" He asked in an almost lazy fashion. "I almost didn't notice you were here." Kakashi then added. "That was, of course, up until you screamed loud enough to blow my eardrums." Kakashi then turned to look at the agitated Tsunade. He gave a curt nod. "I Hatake Kakashi fully accept my students to be put on this reality TV show…" He sighed and pulled his beloved Ichi Ichi paradise book from his Jounin jacket. He propped it open and began to silently read as the last two sensei's replied.

Saturobi Asuma took one last long drag on his cigarette before pulling it from his mouth. He let the smoke drift from his mouth and lips and into the air. He rubbed his pointy black beard in thought before moving the same open hand to rake through his slicked hair. "Well…I suppose you have this already set up so it must not really matter if I answered no." Asuma drawled on and shrugged. "But I see no problem in letting my pupils go onto television."

Yuuhi Kurenai raked her own hands through her long black hair before flipping it over her shoulder. "I know this is about money. Knowing you Tsunade-Hime." Kurenai replied calmly as her blood red eyes switched from Tsunade to Asuma. She bit her lip. "And everything must be already set up. As Asuma-kun had already put up. So, I guess I don't want to end up as the black sheep. My answer is the same as the others. You have my permission."

Tsunade smiled and purred. "Perrrrfffecccttt" She grinned. "A bus will take them to the airport tomorrow. From the airport they will reach the destination" She informed the senseis. "Now…go tell your students…about them getting a free 'vacation' for their hard work. But DO NOT tell them they are going to actually be sent off to be on television. If you tell them that everything will be ruined" Tsunade warned.

"May I ask the name of the show?" Asked a seemingly interested Kurenai.

"Survival skills Lost in Unwittingly simple Teen hormones" Tsunade replied slowly. "Or it is to be called S.L.U.T for short" Tsunade grinned. "Lovely is it not?"

"OH yeah. I find it extremely pleasing and lovely" Kakashi snickered appraisingly.

--- R&&R Pwease!-

A/N : I do not promote over drinking and getting intoxicated. Despite the fact that I am Irish.

Next Chapter preview: Chaos is being stirred up as our favorite ninjas enter the whirling world of reality television all without knowing it at all. And what's this? Kiba's putting on a disguise? He's now claiming to be Pete Zah? Who could possibly fall for that?


End file.
